Too much to do…
Hi, hello, good morning! I almost forgot to post this week, and why is that?
Because I have too much going on! I don’t know what it is with me and trying to do EVERYTHING all at once (okay, I do know, it’s ADHD, kids), but it’s starting to become a serious problem.
You see, I currently have an extremely busy phase at work. There are lots of things to get done, ideally before March starts, there are running support cases, recurring support cases, new stuff happening, … It’s a lot, and I’m constantly working overtime and hoping that things will eventually calm down. Which they haven’t so far. There’s also the fact that I have a house to maintain. I mean, David is perfectly fine with me not doing all the chores, but he doesn’t really have that much time to do them, and the mess around here is stressing me out. Which obviously isn’t helping. Aaaand, then there’s a new thing: We may have finally (finally, finally!) found the house we’re going to buy. That obviously involves a lot of work. There are people to call, information to collect, and decisions to make. Plus, my ADHD brain of course doesn’t see how anything else could be relevant right now. If my brain had it’s way, I’d be looking for inspiration on Pinterst all day, every day.
It’s really hard to navigate all of this, especially since prioritizing tasks isn’t really my strong side. I mean, I can, if there is a reasonable amount of stuff to do. But if it’s waaayyyy too much, like it is right now, and everything is kind of important for one reason or another, like right now, I just can’t seem to do it. So what I do instead, or rather: What my brain does instead, is letting one of the stressors slack. Like, seriously slack. Slack, as in: Basically pretending it doesn’t exist. Problem is: My brain has decided that work is that thing.
Obviously, that’s a problem. I mean, I have a lot of overtime, but right now, there are just too many things to do to just take a day off, or several days, as my brain would like me to do. It simply isn’t possible. I mean, yes, technically speaking, it is. But more realistically speaking, I have people and day care units who depend on me doing my job, so they can function fully. Which, now that I think about it, is a bit of an overstatement. Child daycare facilities can clearly function, even if the phone doesn’t work for a while, or the computer does strange stuff. But anyone who works in customer support knows this: People don’t see that. They see that they have a problem, and they want it fixed. Immediately. It’s important to them, so they expect it to be important to you.
And it is! Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that the colleagues I do support for really need everything to work, so they can do their jobs without interference. Why do you think I’m so stressed? I know my job is important, and I want to make sure everybody feels heard and supported. But I can’t really live up to that all the time.
So I guess it isn’t al that surprising, that my brain has decided to pretend that work doesn’t exist. But, well… it does. It’s not going anywhere. And it’s important to me that I do my job, and do it well.
What I’ve figured out as a way to navigate this, a little bit at least, is to only look at certain parts of the whole big mess at a time. So, I’m currently, temporarily, not doing as much support at my job, so I can get through with the important things that need to get done before the end of the month. I’m also trying to reduce the time that I spend not really doing anything of any value, like social media, or TV. I try to instead just do the small or not so small tasks that I stumble upon throughout the day.
For example, on Tuesday, I cleaned the bathroom, and cleaned the heavy, layered waterstains off the kitchen faucet. I tydied up here and there. On Wednesday, I worked an hour less than usual, and only in the morning, so I had the afternoon free to read, and cut up all the massive cartons we had accumulated over the past few months (both through buying stuff ourselves, and my job), so we could bundle them up and get rid of them. That last one was especially fullfilling for me. But, guess what? This morning, my boss brought by some more tech stuff I need to take care off, and it come in… boxes. Carton boxes. So now my lovely carton free entryway is full of boxes, again.
You see my problem. It’s just too. Damn. Much.
So what’s the point of this post?
No idea. Honestly, I think I just needed to vent. A bit. Or maybe some of the other ADHD people out there have the same problem. I don’t know.
What I think is important to remember in times like these, is that it’s not actually your fault things are out of control. It’s not even your ADHD’s fault, really. Don’t let anyone tell you that. Because, guess what? If there is simply way, way, way too much stuff to do, organize and think of, it’s too much for anyone. Not for you, or me, specifically, because we have ADHD. It’s too much. Period. A neurotypical brain wouldn’t help in a situation like this. If anything, I believe probably the exact opposite.
So don’t give up. Eventually, things will get easier again. At least I hope so, otherwise I’m going to have to become a hermit and move to the forest, or something.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!