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Happy Monday: I’m back!

Here's a picture of a path in the forest, with lots of foliage, because it's finally fall, and I'm trying to get back into my usual work week schedule (and so don't have a ton of spoons to look for a better image).

 

Hi there, folks who do or do not read my blog! I’m back!

I know I’ve been inexcusably inacctive for a while now. I had a lot on my plate, and then I was on vacation, so I decided to say “fuck it” and just take some time off from writing, too. (That, btw, is a great way of destressing your ADHD brain when you have that “I want to do this, but my brain doesn’t”-problem.)

So, what has been going on in my life recently?

I had some quite annoying weeks at work, then I went to my best friend’s wedding, which was lovely and so much fun, then the boyfriend and I went to a vacation rental by the baltic sea for a week, which was super relaxing even though the weather wasn’t very holiday-y, and then we spent a week at home, just relaxing, getting some stuff done, in my case binge watching Friends, and just not doing all that much.

I can’t tell you how much I needed that. Just having time to do nothing, and not feel bad about it is so, so great (even though the not feeling bad about it part was a bit of work). I feel a lot more relaxed now, even though there has already been a problem with my job, and I don’t even go back to work until tomorrow. (I don’t know about yours, but my ADHD brain is great at not wanting to do anything, while stressing because we’re not doing anything, so I just really enjoyed not technically needing to do anything.)

Apart from that, yesterday was the first day of fall, which you might have guessed, I was super excited about. I celebrated the fall equinox (yes, I do that, no, I am not particularly spiritual about it), by packing up the summer decorations and bringing out the fall stuff. And since I also hadn’t done any cleaning in a while, I dusted and wiped all the surfaces in the living room area. And cleaned the TV screen. And cleaned all the candle holders and lanterns. It was a lot of work, but it was so worth it to see the glorious, clean, sparkly, fall decorated living room when I was done. Cue happy sigh.

We also spent some time with boyfriend’s parents yesterday, which was nice. And we had a lovely, cuddly evening. I lit all the candles, even my new fall scented one I was suuuuuper excited to try (getting your hands on fall scented candles isn’t all that easy in Germany). It was just…. nice. A nice, relaxed Sunday evening. Which, for me, is kind of rare, since my brain is usually already busy getting worked up over the new week, by the time Sunday evening rolls around.

Now, as it is Monday, and the vacation is over, I’m a little bit torn between letting my brain slowly adjust to the work week schedule again, and just forcing myself to be productive, so I don’t fall into the trap that is “Oh, I’ll just watch one more episode.” In the end, I decided to do a mixture of both, by doing a little digital detox (which is kind of a ridiulous term, imo), by spending the morning finishing a book (A Place For Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza, which was an incredible read, btw, highly recommend), and keeping all screens off.

And what can I say, it kind of worked. I had about 80 pages to go to finish the book, so I ended up reading until well past 8 am (which is my normal morning deadline to get productive), but I felt a lot less exhausted, and more motivated than usual. So after I was done with my morning routine (minus my spanish practice), I went for a short walk, got some sun, then put on a sheet mask for under my eyes (because these things seriously help me feel less tired, for some reason). I even made tea, in my super cute new tea pot (mixed some green tea with my new lemon infused tea). And now I’m here, at my desk(!) doing some writing. I really think this start into the week could have gone worse.

I have a pretty busy day ahead of me, though, and it’s already 11 am. Things I need/want to get done today:

  • Pick up my prescription and drop it off at the pharmacy
  • Buy some pumpkins for the fall decorations
  • Possibly find a nice box to keep my nailpolish in, since it’s getting a little out of hand (oups)
  • Develop a better idea of what I want to do for some workshops I’m going to hold in October (super exciting!)
  • Call the lady from the library where I’ll hold the workshops
  • Bake cookies (which I have been putting off for a ridiculously long time now…)
  • Make pumpkin soup for dinner
  • Vaccuum at least part of the house
  • And clean the bathroom

Wow. Let’s just say I’m not sure how I’m going to get all of that done. (Update: It’s now 5:15 pm, and obviously I didn’t get everything done. Pumpkin is still in one peace, so I’m defrosting some curry, and the cookies are being procrastinated for another day, at least…)

Here’s the nice thing, though: I don’t absolutely have to do everything on the list. Some of the points on this list are musts. Getting my prescription, and working things out for the workshops, for example. Some things, I really, really want to do, such as buy pumpkins and bake cookies, but aren’t strictly speaking necessary. And then there are the things that I could easily move to another time, such as making pumkin soup (thanks to the fact that I have a well stocked freezer for emergency dinners). So what I try to do (emphasis on try), is prioritize the tasks accordingly. Most of the things I absolutely have to do, plus some of the things I want to do, are tasks I can only do in the afternoon. So right now, I can make some choices about what I want to do until then.

Let’s see. If I want to make cookies, it makes no sense to vaccuum the kitchen before that, but I’ll definitely want to run the vaccuum when I’m done. Planning the workshops feels like more of an after lunch, don’t want to get off the couch, kind of task. So, looking at that, I think it makes sense for me to start by cleaning the bathroom (important, but don’t really want to), and then possibly prepare cookie dough to bake later, and/or prepare the pumpkin for the soup (if you’ll remember, it was already past 11 am, when I wrote this, so what you see there is a typical case of ADHD brain having no sense of how long it takes to do things). When I’m done with that, I’ll definitely be ready to take a lunch break (which reminds me that I don’t really have anything to eat for lunch… huh).

You see, this is how I try to organize my days when I’m at home. It usually works to a degree, and the trick to not getting frustrated, for me, is to not expect everything to work out (today is the best example of that, really). But if I actually plan my day this way I usually end up being at least a little productive (also true today). I don’t know if this process is for everyone, but it works quite well for me.

It also allows me to trick my ADHD brain a little bit, by keeping things open. Because if I set up a time table to try and force myself to do certain things at certain times, I can practically guarantee that nothing will get done. Keeping things flexible is key in gettingĀ  my ADHD brain to work.

Now, I hope all of you are having a good Monday, and that your ADHD brains are being cooperative. I’m just going to try and not let my vacation relaxation evaporate too quickly this week.

(And as I can’t really think of what to write to conclude this post, here’s some useless knowledge for your ADHD brain to retain forever: September, October, November and December used to be the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth month of the year, but then someone decided to move them, but keep the names, and I just think that’s a very ADHD thing to do.)

Image by George Becker